Writing the Perfect TOEFL Essay

Writing the perfect  TOEFL essay is only a dream for most TOEFLers. However, the student who wrote the essay in this blog post did exactly that.

Writing the perfect TOEFL essay









What does perfect mean?

Read the below requirements for a perfectly scoring TOEFL independent writing task.   TOEFL iBT writing rubrics for 5.0

Writing the perfect TOEFL essay means that you must directly address the writing task. In addition, you need to have a well-organized essay with clear, specific examples. Furthermore, your essay needs to be unified and to show progression. Finally, you need to have excellent control of your vocabulary and grammar.  In other words, you should be using appropriate vocabulary and variety of sentence structures in a natural sounding way. However, you are allowed to make some minor vocabulary or grammar errors. Therefore, your essay does not need to be perfect in the true sense of the word. As a result, breathe a sigh of relief : )

An example writing prompt for the perfect TOEFL essay

People have different ways of escaping the stress and difficulties of modern life. Some read; some exercise; others work in their gardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

A Perfect Response

Score 5.0/5.0

Since the beginning of human civilization, people have been exposed to high degrees of stress, including looking for their sufficient food and protecting themselves from wild animals. To alleviate their stress, they have pursued various leisure activities like drawing, dancing, and singing. Yet, as the society has become more modernized, people have been facing an unprecedented amount that has resulted from interpersonal relationships and their jobs. While opponents might claim otherwise, exercise is the best way of reducing stress, for it allows people to mingle together and increases their mental well-being.

Firstly, exercise helps strengthen people’s ties with friends. Humans are often referred to as social animals; this emphasizes the extent relationships dictate people’s lives. Thus, if people are able to have fun with their friends while playing sports, they will certainly be able to get rid of their stress. For example, when I was a freshman, I felt much stressed by the extent of workload I was faced with. I was constantly bombarded with extensive research papers I had to complete for my English class. For instance, I remember grabbing my head in anguish in writing an multi-page essay about Jim Crow Laws and its significance in the novel “To Kill a Mockingbird.” When I told my friend about the high-level of stress I was dealing with, he encouraged me to join the basketball team. While I was hesitant at first, I got to get closer with my peers through sweating together in the courts. Playing sports allowed me to create a special bond with them, which made me feel better. Consequently, every time I get stressed, I call up my friends to hang out in the basketball courts, and I am confident to assert that every time I am able to have a great time with my friends when playing sports. Thus, sports allows me to reduce the stress I have.

Next, exercise enables people to improve their mental health. The health benefits of exercise have been repeatedly proved in various experiments. In fact, many scientists have claimed exercise releases many good hormones, such as dopamine. According to the American Scientist, the eminent science magazine, the effects of exercise on the brain are profound. Researchers got a group of 82 volunteers and used a matched-pairs test to test results. When they made the volunteers exercise, they were able to see the profound difference in the activation of the brain before and after the test. In fact, they realize that the limbic system, the part of the brain that is said to control emotions and stress, was stimulated. Looking at this matter in a closer perspective, parts of this limbic system that accounts for happiness had been affected the most. Thus, through this test, these researches were able to scientifically prove that exercise is able to effectively relieve stress. In this regard, it seems clear that exercise is the utmost way to get rid of stress.

Anchoring on my basketball experience and the science experiment, I believe that exercise is able to effectively reduce stress. Exercise allows me to build closer relationships with my peers and improve my mental health, which allows me to relieve stress. Therefore, nothing in my mind overweighs the contentions placed above.

Why is this essay perfect, Michael?

This essay has some minor grammar errors to be sure. However, I believe it will score 5.0/5.0 on the TOEFL exam. Watch the below video to learn why:

How can I learn writing the perfect TOEFL essay?

It took the student about two weeks before he was able to write this essay.  If you want to dvelop the writing skills that he is learning, I recommend that you join my TOEFL Writing Boot Camp course: https://onlinetoeflcourse.com/product/30-day-toefl-writing-boot-camp-course/

Michael Buckhoff, mbuckhoff@aol.com

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2 thoughts on “Writing the Perfect TOEFL Essay”

  1. Pingback: TOEFL Listening Note-Taking Practice - Better TOEFL Scores Blog

  2. Pingback: How to Improve your TOEFL Concentration - Better TOEFL Scores Blog

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