Advantage and Disadvantage TOEFL Model Essay

This advantage and disadvantage TOEFL model essay will show you how to approach this type of writing prompt.

Advantage and Disadvantage TOEFL Model Essay

Advantage and Disadvantage Writing Prompt

Some people prefer the quiet life of the country. Others prefer the hustle and bustle of the city life. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of both sides. Where would you prefer to live? Give reason for your preferences.

A decoding of the above writing prompt reveals a four paragraph response in which you

  • Introductory paragraph: Include an introduction that forecasts a discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of country and city life.
  • Body paragraph 1: Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of country life.
  • Body paragraph 2: Explain the advantages and disadvantages of city life.
  • Body paragraph 3: Argue which type of life you prefer.

One of my Online TOEFL Course students sent me the following response to the assignment:

Student’s Response to Writing Prompt (3.50/5.0 22/30 points)

Choosing a place to live is an important decision. Many people prefer to live close to their workplace, others would choose to live close to family and others would prefer to live on a city or town depending on what these places has to offer. Each of these living styles has both advantages and disadvantages.
The advantages of living in the city are easy access to places such as shopping malls and highways. People that live in the city would have plenty places to choose from to go shopping. For example, in New York City shoppers would find expensive places right in the heart of the city, but if they hope to the subway, they could be in just a few minutes in China Town where they can find many bargains. Another advantage of living in the city is the transportation system and the convenient highways that surround the city. People can have many options to move around the city such us buses, taxis, subway or even rent a bike or an electric scooter. Also, many important interstates highways that connect cities and towns are convenient located in the peripheries of the city. A disadvantage of living in the city is the high crime rate since gangs and delinquents find cities more attractive to commit their crimes.
The advantages of living in the country are the quietness and the opportunity to develop a deeper relationship with neighbors and the community. For example, studies have shown that people that live in the country can live longer and have less mental problems, doctors believe that this is because people have a slow pace of living and less stress. Also, the life in the country offers a tight sense of community because since there is a small number of habitants this can create better opportunities to develop deeper relationships between neighbors. On the contrary, a disadvantage of living in the country is the inconvenient of living far from places such as shopping plazas, museums, and sport stadiums.
Both, living in the country and city have great advantages. It is important to keep in mind those benefits before deciding where to live. I personally would prefer to live in the city because I know that I can have access to the things that I love most such as shopping and visiting museums, also I could have quick access to main highways when I need to travel.
At the end of this page, be sure to read the advantage and disadvantage TOEFL Model Essay.

Analysis of Student’s Response

A thorough reading of the essay shows that the students addressed the topic.

However, the student should have written a more balanced essay spending roughly 1/2 of body paragraph 1 discussing the advantages of living in the city. Then the student should have spent about 1/2 of the paragraph discussing the disadvantages of living in the city.

Student’s response:

The advantages of living in the city are easy access to places such as shopping malls and highways. People that live in the city would have plenty places to choose from to go shopping. For example, in New York City shoppers would find expensive places right in the heart of the city, but if they hope to the subway, they could be in just a few minutes in China Town where they can find many bargains. Another advantage of living in the city is the transportation system and the convenient highways that surround the city. People can have many options to move around the city such us buses, taxis, subway or even rent a bike or an electric scooter. Also, many important interstates highways that connect cities and towns are convenient located in the peripheries of the city. A disadvantage of living in the city is the high crime rate since gangs and delinquents find cities more attractive to commit their crimes. 

Edited more balanced paragraph:

The advantage of living in the city is easy access to places such as shopping malls and highways. People that live in the city will have plenty of places to choose from to go shopping. For example, in New York City shoppers can find expensive places right in the heart of the city, but if they hop on the subway, they can be in China Town in just a few minutes where they can find many bargains. On the other hand, a disadvantage of living in the city is the high crime rate since gangs and delinquents find cities more attractive to commit their crimes. To illustrate, I have a friend who lives in Buenas Aires. He has been living there for more than ten years. Since he moved there, burglars have broken into his house three times.  On another occasion, a thief stole his car during the night. Lastly, he was even mugged once on his way to the grocery store. Some of his other friends have also experienced crime while living there as well.

In addition, in body paragraph 2, the student should have written a more balanced discussion of the advantages and the disadvantages of living in the country.

Student’s response:

The advantages of living in the country are the quietness and the opportunity to develop a deeper relationship with neighbors and the community. For example, studies have shown that people that live in the country can live longer and have less mental problems, doctors believe that this is because people have a slow pace of living and less stress. Also, the life in the country offers a tight sense of community because since there is a small number of habitants this can create better opportunities to develop deeper relationships between neighbors. On the contrary, a disadvantage of living in the country is the inconvenient of living far from places such as shopping plazas, museums, and sport stadiums.

Edited more balanced paragraph:

The advantage of living in the country is a more stable mental capacity. For example, studies have shown that people living in the country can live longer and have fewer mental problems. Doctors believe that this healthier state of mind occurs because people have a slower pace of living and less stress. On the contrary, a disadvantage of living in the country is the inconvenience of living far from places such as shopping plazas and sport stadiums. To illustrate, Michael, my TOEFL tutor, who lives in Oak Hills, California, lives far away from shopping centers. In fact, he has to drive more than 20 miles just to go to Costco to buy bulk items. In addition, if he wants to watch the LA Dodgers play baseball, he will need to drive to Los Angeles, which is more than 75 miles away.

The student needed a more developed body paragraph 3.

Student’s response:

Both, living in the country and city have great advantages. It is important to keep in mind those benefits before deciding where to live. I personally would prefer to live in the city because I know that I can have access to the things that I love most such as shopping and visiting museums, also I could have quick access to main highways when I need to travel.

Edited more developed response:

To sum up, living in the country and city have great advantages. It is important to keep in mind those benefits before deciding where to live. I personally would prefer to live in the city because I know that I can have access to the things that I love most such as shopping and visiting museums. For example, I live in Newark, Ohio, which has a population of 50,000 people. Because the town is fairly small and mostly rural, I have to travel to Columbus, Ohio to shop and visit museums. It takes my family and me more than 30 minutes to reach Columbus. Therefore, if we had chosen to live in Columbus and not Newark, we would have been much closer to shopping and museums. As a result, I would prefer when I move to another city to move to one that is larger.

As you can read here, the above essay doesn’t not have the balance and development of the advantage and disadvantage TOEFL Model Essay in the next part of this web page.

Advantage and Disadvantage TOEFL Model Essay

The below advantage and disadvantage TOEFL Model Essay scores 5.0/5.0 or 30/30 points.

Choosing a place to live is an important decision. Where people choose to live will affect how far or close they are to schools, work, entertainment, and shopping centers. In addition, people often choose to live close to family so that they can spend quality time together. Finally, a major choice for people is whether they live in the country or whether they live in the city. Each of these living styles has both advantages and disadvantages.
The advantage of living in the city is easy access to places such as shopping malls and highways. People that live in the city will have plenty of places to choose from to go shopping. For example, in New York City shoppers can find expensive places right in the heart of the city, but if they hop on the subway, they can be in China Town in just a few minutes where they can find many bargains. On the other hand, a disadvantage of living in the city is the high crime rate since gangs and delinquents find cities more attractive to commit their crimes. To illustrate, I have a friend who lives in Buenas Aires. He has been living there for more than ten years. Since he moved there, burglars have broken into his house three times.  On another occasion, a thief stole his car during the night. Lastly, he was even mugged once on his way to the grocery store. Some of his other friends have also experienced crime while living there as well.
The advantage of living in the country is a more stable mental capacity. For example, studies have shown that people living in the country can live longer and have fewer mental problems. Doctors believe that this healthier state of mind occurs because people have a slower pace of living and less stress. On the contrary, a disadvantage of living in the country is the inconvenience of living far from places such as shopping plazas and sport stadiums. To illustrate, Michael, my TOEFL tutor, who lives in Oak Hills, California, lives far away from shopping centers. In fact, he has to drive more than 20 miles just to go to Costco to buy bulk items. In addition, if he wants to watch the LA Dodgers play baseball, he will need to drive to Los Angeles, which is more than 75 miles away.
To sum up, living in the country and city have great advantages. It is important to keep in mind those benefits before deciding where to live. I personally would prefer to live in the city because I know that I can have access to the things that I love most such as shopping and visiting museums. For example, I live in Newark, Ohio, which has a population of 50,000 people. Because the town is fairly small and mostly rural, I have to travel to Columbus, Ohio to shop and visit museums. It takes my family and me more than 30 minutes to reach Columbus. Therefore, if we had chosen to live in Columbus and not Newark, we would have been much closer to shopping and museums. As a result, I would prefer when I move to another city to move to one that is larger.

 

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