If you have TOEFL Writing Redundancy, you will not be able to score 5.0/5.0 or 30/30 pts.
What is redundancy?
If you have redundancy in your writing, you may score 4.0/5.0 or 25/30 pts. However, what does redundancy mean? Redundancy is the unnecessary repetition of something that you have already written about. Redundant words, phrases, and sentences can be taken out of your writing without any loss of meaning.
Show me what TOEFL writing redundancy looks like in an example paragraph from one of your TOEFL students.
Notice how the below paragraph necessarily repeats the key points of exercise and reading.
Society is never free from stress and it can be detrimental for the body if not properly addressed it. Also, stress can impaired brain’s function specially mentally, and sometimes physically as well. That is the reason stress must be seriously addressed. Practicing exercise and reading were for me the excellent ways to escape from stress. Health professionals has published lots of articles regarding stress, saying that exercising has scientifically data shown its benefit. One of the presented data was that the relief of tension from the body while it synthesis good substances for the body called “serotonin”. If an individual really wants to have a quality of life and prevent the harm of stress, they should be practicing exercise and reading regularly.
How would you revise the paragraph so that it does not have TOEFL writing redundancy?
To improve the introductory paragraph, I
- eliminated the unnecessary repetition of the thesis.
- included a general statement to raise the topic.
- deleted the specific details about scientific , data, and serotonin information about stress since that information was already included in the body paragraphs.
Upon completing high school, some people will enter the workforce, while others may decide to pursue graduate and undergraduate degrees at universities. In either case, these workers and students will need to push themselves in order to succeed so that they can be successful. However, this type of motivation can cause added stress, so society is never free from stress, and anxiety-causing issues can be detrimental for the body if they are not properly addressed. Also, stress can impair the brain’s mental and sometimes physical functions. If individuals really want to have a quality of life and prevent the harm of stress, they should be practicing exercise and reading regularly.
Avoid these redundant expressions.
Here are some common redundant expressions that you should avoid.
|add an additional||add|
|ask a question||ask|
|at the present time||presently|
|during the course of||during|
|postpone until later||postpone|
|since the time when||since|
|spell out in detail||spell out|
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