A quick glimpse at ETS’s TOEFL Writing Rubrics reveals that an essay that scores 5.0 should use “clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details.
Therefore, using TOEFL writing details increases your chances of getting a high score in the writing section.
What is an explanation?
An explanation is a statement that you can use to clarify something that you have said so that it is more understandable.
Example statement + explanation: Workers who are successful must show determination. In other words, if an employee gets tasked to complete a proposal, she will stay focused on that task until it is completed.
In this case, I argue that workers need to have determination, and then I offer an explanation to make my assertion more understandable.
What does exemplification mean?
Exemplification means to provide examples as supporting material to explain or clarify a generalization. In this regard, you provide enough details and examples to make your argument clear to your audience.
Example statement + explanation + exemplification: Workers who are successful must show determination. In other words, if an employee gets tasked to complete a proposal, she will stay focused on that task until it is completed. To illustrate, my sister was put in charge of making a team presentation to a pharmaceutical company in Denmark, and she was given three weeks for her and her team to create, rehearse, and deliver this important marketing presentation to the Danish company. In the first week, my sister delegated assignments for her five team members, and during the second week, she asked two of her team members to complete some marketing research. Finally, in the third week, she and her teammates practiced delivering the presentation, and on Thursday of that week, they traveled to Denmark and delivered a knockout presentation to the Danish company which was so impressed with her team that they worked out a business deal on the spot. Because of my sister’s resolute determination with her work assignment, she has bad resounding success with her company.
What is a TOEFL writing detail?
Part of what comprises exemplification is TOEFL Writing Details which is
A particular type of information such as description, illustration, and statistical data
Specific information relating to the topic of the paragraph
Information which relates to the thesis/purpose of the overall essay
Concrete and abstract details are two ways of supporting your general statements:
Concrete detail:
For example, my last roommate once left a Coca-Cola can on the coffee table in our living room, and after a few days the soda can attracted thousands and maybe even millions of ants. Our insect infestations became so severe that the ants even got into two boxes of cereal, one bag of sugar, and three pounds of rice. Because of my dirty roommate, my living conditions became unsanitary.
Abstract/generic detail: Some roommates may not pick up after themselves by leaving their stuff in the common living spaces of our apartment. In fact, this clutter can result in unclean conditions not only for him but also for others living under the same household.
In choosing between the two types of detail information, use concrete details which have several benefits:
Gives readers a clear understanding of what you are writing about
Provides precise details and specific identifying information.
Avoids vague, unclear, or uninteresting writing.
TOEFL Writing Details Practice
In each exercise, you will read an assertion. Then, write a 100+ word concrete detail to defend that assertion. Click on the “Show More” icon to see a possible answer with a suggested concrete detail. TOEFL Writing Details
1. Workers who change jobs frequently will get promoted more, thereby helping them to earn more money to support their standard of living.
Example Concrete Detail 1
For example, my brother graduated from Brigham Young University about five years ago, and shortly thereafter, he was hired by an accounting firm making $68,000 annually. He worked at the company for a year and a half, after which he started interviewing for another job. Using his current work experience, he then decided to take a job with an accounting firm in Los Angeles, and now he was making $100,000 yearly. At this second company, he was promoted to a senior accounting position and gained valuable experience managing others in his financial team. Then last year, after working in his second company in a managerial accounting position, he sought a vice president position for a company in Anaheim, California, this time getting a salary of $150,000. As a result, by changing jobs three times in a five-year span, my brother increased his salary by $82,000, which is more than enough money to support his standard of living.
2. Drivers who throw trash out their windows should be fined at least $1000 so that they and other drivers will pollute less.
Example Concrete Detail 2
To illustrate, in my hometown city of Oak Hills, California, officials have imposed littering fines of $1000, and the California Highway Patrol enforces the ordinance on the freeways. Two weeks ago, a driver threw his leftover McDonalds napkins, paper bag, French Fries container, ketchup packets, and mustard packets out his window while he was driving 85 miles per hour. The driver had no idea that a CHP officer was right behind him, and soon enough the man was stopped by the CHP officer at the next offramp. The police officer fined the driver $1000 for littering, and another $576 for driving 25 miles per hour over the speed limit. After getting the ticket, the man told the officer that he would never throw thrash out his window and that he would do his best to drive within the speed limit. After the traffic stop, the officer had the Daily Press publish an article in their newspaper that drivers were being ticketed for throwing litter on the freeway. After that article was published, police officers reported a 30% decrease in litter violations on the freeways.
3. Indeed, children should have a limited screen time of only two hours per day so that they can concentrate on their homework more.
Example Concrete Detail 3
For example, my friend’s son has an IPad, an Apple phone, a laptop computer, and a gaming computer. Unfortunately, this 14-year old child has no limitations on how long he spends on the technological devices. Therefore, he spends at least an hour on his IPad playing Santorini, a chess-like game with beautiful graphics, and he spends 2.5 hours on his phone by primarily sending text messages and watching YouTube Shorts. In addition, he spends about 1.5 hours on his computer surfing the Internet so that he can check his social media apps: TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram. Finally, on his gaming computer, for another hour he plays a game called Sea of Theives, and other gamers play with him using their virtual Avatars. In total, this young teen spends about 6 hours daily on screen time among all these devices, and he little or no time afterward to complete his social studies, math, language arts, and science homework that he should be completing. Unfortunately, this young teen is not disciplined to limit his own screen time, so his parents should restrict him to only two hours daily.
4. People who are good listeners make really good friends, which is why I consider this trait as an important quality in a friend.
Example Concrete Detail 4
For instance, a few months ago, I met someone called Tracy, who was attending a get-together at a mutual friend’s house. Tracy greeted me and asked me how I was. I told her about her biology class that I was taking and that I was having trouble differentiating between mitosis and meiosis. During our conversation, she learned that I had been preparing for this cell division test and that I was taking the test in about two weeks. While I was talking to her, she listened attentively without interrupting and did not give me any advice on how I could better prepare for the test. She simply listened. Eventually, Tracy ended up becoming my best friend in college, and because of her example, I have improved my listening skills, which has helped me to make more friends.
5. Being direct is more important than being indirect so I do not mislead the person to whom I am speaking.
Example Concrete Detail 5
Case in point, last week, one of my classmates wanted to join a biology study group that I was in. However, my group already had five members, and we did not need any more group members since we all had specific assignments in which we read specific pages from the textbook, made a brief outline of the most important points, and created flashcards on the definitions. I knew that my classmate wanted to be part of our group, and when she asked me, I thought at first I would make up a pretend excuse. However, I was direct and told her that we already had enough group members and that she would have to find another study group. Fortunately, since I did not mislead her and since I directly answered her question, she did not ask to join our group anymore and found another study group that had only had four members.
6. College students should be allowed to bring cell phones into class because of their educational value.
Example Concrete Detail 6
For example, my history professor last semester not only allowed students to bring cell phones into class but also encouraged their use. During one of our class lectures on the civil war, the professor asked us to use our phones so that we could Google pictures of the civil war. Following the professor’s advice, I used my phone to view pictures of some of the weapons used during America’s bloodiest war: rifles, ball-shaped bullets, cannons, and cannonballs. As I viewed some of these pictures, I was able to engage more with the professor’s lecture; therefore, using my phone during class added educational value to my learning.
7. Running is a lot less expensive than bicycling, so I prefer it as an effective form of cardiovascular exercise.
Example Concrete Detail 7
To explain in more detail, my friend Kevin is an avid bicyclist, and he just purchased a top-of-the-line bicycle that cost more than $8,000. Furthermore, he told me that he had spent more $1000 buying pants, shirts, a helmet, gloves, and a computer that would keep track of his mileage and cycling speed. Knowing that I could not afford that participate in that sport, I decided to run because I still wanted needed cardiovascular exercise. Before my first workout, I bought a pair of running shoes ($120), two pairs of athletic shorts ($70), a GPS watch ($100) to measure my distance and speed, three sports shirts.
8. Essay exams allow me to get a deep understanding of course materials, so this method of evaluation is more effective than taking multiple-choice exams.
Example Concrete Detail 8
9. Children who are given an allowance for doing chores will learn finance management, an important skill for these youngsters that they will need in the future.
Example Concrete Detail 9
To illustrate, my son has to empty the garbage daily, straighten his room and make his bed before going school, and vacuum the living room, his bedroom, the office, and the master bedroom at least twice a week. As long as he completes these three chores weekly, he gets paid an allowance of $50. Since he started doing these chores diligently, he has saved more than $785, and last month he decided to use some of his money to purchase a new Nintendo gaming system. In addition, my son has invested the rest of his investment proceeds into the stock market in which he has been profiting on his investments by about 15% each month. Therefore, the allowance that my gets helps him learn how to manage money through savings and investments.
TOEFL Writing Details
10. If I choose a less-expensive university, I will have a lot less debt after I graduate, hence allowing me to contribute to my country’s economy much faster.
Example Concrete Detail 10
After completing my undergraduate and graduate studies at California State University, San Bernardino, a relatively inexpensive university, I was only $6,000 in debt. Therefore, when I got my first job as a manager at Purina Dog Food Company in St. Louis, Missouri, I started earning an annual salary of $87,000 , and I was able to repay that loan in only six months. After my wife and I moved out of our rental, we purchased a 1,950 square foot four bedhome on the outskirts of St. Louis. We furnished our home by purchasing a living room set, a dining room set, a two-bedroom sets of furniture. In all, we spent more than $10,000 buying furniture and put a deposit of $25,000 to secure the mortgage on our new home. Had I gone to a more expensive univeristy like my ex-roommate did, I would have gone into more than $60,000 worth of debt, and I would not have been able to contribute to my country’s economy as soon as I was able because I would have been more focused on re-paying the school loan.
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